Picture this – an epic return, a glorious new beginning, a wave of excitement… it’s here, it’s back, it’s Battle City. And guess what – it’s full of newbies! Welcome to the Newbie Spotlight – the place where newbies are honored for their incompetence, incoherence, and inability to shoot.
Wujiamin is the first newbie to be honored with the spotlight. Of all the newbies out there, nobody is more deserving of newbie recognition. She can barely drive, let alone shoot. But she’s from Hawaii, does the hula, and really knows how to hang-out!
She talks about nipples – but it’s not what you think. Wuji used to play another game called ARC. That’s right, we’ve converted here. Forget about UFO’s and space battles, Battle City is where the real action is. High speed tank wars, tactical assault strategies, decisive defense placement. Wuji was a Private for 2 weeks. Then a Corporal for three. But forget that – she’s now been promoted to Sergeant Major with 556 points! Watch yourself.
While she might not be the best recruit to defend your city just yet, she does know how to protect herself from the drooling of Yoyo and the rest of her growing fan club. Because for what she lacks in skill, she more than makes up for in text – that’s right, this newbie is already an active member of the community in the midst of a spam war with one of the games finest veterans, Stubbs.
What does the future hold for Wujiamin? The next Duke – Lord perhaps? Definitely Lieutenant by May, maybe even Captain!
Best of all, I’ve convinced her that in Canada it’s common to have a pet penguin. Mine is named Gonk.
A word of advice – don’t hug turrets even if you think they look like pandas. They’re not. I promise they never will be, please stop.
