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Help Nemesis Find his Sound!
Today I was reading the forums when to my horror I discoverred in this thread that Nemesis has lost his sound! I cannot begin to imagine what that would be like, so I've decided to organize a hunt to help him out.
Below is a picture of Nemesis' ClubHouse! Help him get his sound back by finding the musical note hidden in the picture! Also, for those who don't want to help him out, there is also a hidden spatula which you can steal so he can't make any more burgers!
If you love the picture shown above, click it to see the BIGGER VERSION! so awesome <3
Time Travel to Prevent Quitting in DFG’s
Discuss "Time Travel to Prevent Quitting in DFG's" in the Forums
The current state of BattleCity is facing a serious epidemic of silly monkey's avoiding their sentenced death penalty each time they find themselves nested in an opponents DFG. For some reason, rather than die and re-spawn, many monkey's pleasure themselves by quickly hitting escape then re-joining!
So how do we stop monkey's from pleasuring themselves? This is no easy task as monkey's are extremely promiscuous and will pleasure themselves with any DFG they find. In fact, I've heard rumours that some monkeys will even pleasure themselves with their teammates DFG's!
In order to approach the problem, mad scientists over at the BattleCity Headquarters decided to conduct research on the issue. Several monkeys were inteviewed and many were then observed in their natural habitats.
The results of the research concluded that most monkey's felt the need to pleasure themselves on DFG's when they felt their opponents were using 4d. The monkey, excited by all the attention from the other team cannot control himself and therefore pleasures himself each time he encounters a DFG.
Researchers concluded that the only logical solution to fix the rampant monkey pleasuring problem on BattleCity would be by addressing the issue of 4d. Initially, people reported that 4d meant that 4 players were definding the base. However, after observing the battlefield, it was noticed that the monkey's would often yell 4d when only two people were defending the base disproving the 4 defender theory. It was therefore concluded that 4d must really refer to the fourth dimension.
BattleCity mad scientists are therefore exploring the possibility of using water as a 4th dimensional tool for time travel like Donnie Darko. Of course, depending on your skin, you may have to use molten lava instead of water which may or may not cause instantaneous death. Regardless, we feel that time travel is the solution to the problem.
How will time travel stop the monkey's from pleasuring themselves? It's actually quite logical. Rather than make people get stuck in DFG's, DFG's could be time travel portals into the past. The monkey's would return to a point-in-time 7 seconds before they hit the DFG and therefore never again have the opportunity to pleasure themselves because theoretically they would never again hit a DFG since they would always return to a time before they ever hit a DFG. Monkeys could also theoretically then know where all DFG's are without ever getting stuck in one from an outside observer point of view. This further eliminates the problem related to monkey's pleasuring themselves in DFG's.
The BattleCity staff would also like to request that any individuals with access to a particle accelerator please contact us because we are interested in also exploring the possibility of using high-speed colisions to create miniature black-holes. Once we have access to miniature black-holes, we could then use their gravitational force to travel into the future and thus create reverse DFG's that actually move your tank to where it will eventually be 7 seconds after being released from the DFG and thus into the future!
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Phase-2 of Beta Test on Website Block Feature
On March 20th we began a beta test of the website block feature. The beta test failed horribly, crashing after 2 weeks and allowing Clientel to return to the forums. The plan was of course to block Clientel again, but we quickly realized blocking him again would be unfair to the others who did not get an opportunity to take part in the first beta test.
After reading the forums, I saw how Nemises felt left out because he had less karma than Method. I saw the passion in his posts, as he spammed hoax messages everywhere with bogus links to reduce Method's karma or to increase his. I realized he may have a point, so I decided to give him exclusive access to the second phase of beta testing of the website block feature. Hopefully, by extending him this special favor, he will no longer need to spam the forums with messages purposefully placed in incorrect categories or with fake links spammed in every post and in his signature. Hopefully he will no longer need to post profanities about RedRocket in the off-topic forum, or force the game developers to waste time (that could be better spent on the game) editing the same posts 25 times.
We hope you make the best of this opportunity we have given you Nemises. You worked really hard for it, and we didn't want to let you down by exluding you from this beta test.
